A friend had presented me a book when I was admitted in the hospital, written by one of the greatest scientists and thinkers of our times, Stephen Hawking. The book was titled “A Brief History of Time.”
Something that Stephen Hawking said, inspired me a lot. “However difficult life may seem there is always something you can do and succeed at.”
One thing I have learnt in my life, “Iꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ sᴜᴄᴄᴇssꜰᴜʟ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴄʜᴀʟʟᴇɴɢᴇ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀs, ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴄʜᴀʟʟᴇɴɢᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀsᴇʟꜰ. Tʜᴇɴ, ʟᴇᴀʀɴ ᴛᴏ ɢᴏ ʙᴇʏᴏɴᴅ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇsᴇ ᴄʜᴀʟʟᴇɴɢᴇs ᴛʀᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴀs sᴇʟꜰ ɪᴍᴘᴏsᴇᴅ ʟɪᴍɪᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴs ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴀ ʙɪɢ ꜰᴜss ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇᴍ.”
Traits of the Victim
Blaming Others Blaming job Blaming boss Blaming organisation Blaming your work Blaming society Blaming country Blaming Family Blaming parents Blaming current life
Victim blames all except himself/herself.
Victim focuses on obstacles but victor focusses on opportunity
Victim sees problems everywhere ,victor try to make best of the situation
Victim focusses on risks in life victor focusses on life as an exciting adventure.
I am not talking positive thinking here, but this is how the perspective of victims how they see the world
Victim is always fearful and keep thinking what could go wrong always, where as victor takes responsibility for his/her life
Victor has trust , self confidence in his/her abilities and Victim depends on luck
Victim always blames for ill luck, victor believes in luck favours one who takes action but not depend on it
Victim is not committed to change the life, victor is unstoppable will not give up come what may
More details are in my chapter 3 of my Book “𝗜 𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗼 b𝗲 𝗨𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗽𝗽𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲” 𝙉𝙤𝙬 𝙞𝙩 𝙞𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙙𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙫𝙞𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙢 𝙤𝙧 𝙫𝙞𝙘𝙩𝙤𝙧 𝙞𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙡𝙞𝙛e
We all want success. We all want to be and feel successful. Everyone wants more recognition, more money, more education, more of everything! Funny enough we tend to start with this goal: To be successful. But, what that really means? In my life, the idea of success has changed over the years. Twenty Six years ago, I was proudly holding my Masters acquired from the IIT, the most acclaimed engineering institution in India. I had high ambitions and endless opportunities. Life could have offered me anything I desired. There was no doubt that I was going to build a successful career as an engineer. However, destiny had a different plan for me. I fell from a great height which left me paralyzed below the waist. All of a sudden life became a roller coaster ride on a wheelchair. But I wasn’t going to let destiny have the final say. I decided to redesign my life, so my idea of success changed as well.
What Actually is Success?
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer to this question. You must define what success means to you. Some people might think of success as millions of dollars in their bank account. Others might define it as having a healthy relationship. There is no right or wrong definition as long as you define your success. The question is actually: What does success mean to you? As I said, my idea of success changed over the years. When I graduated, all I wanted is to be a successful engineer and build a stellar career. The accident changed my views and forced me to seek a higher purpose in my life. Despite my disability, I have been an effective and efficient corporate professional, but something was missing. So, I decided to quit my corporate job and become a Rebound Coach. I went through so much in my life, and I feel it’s my responsibility to share what I’ve learned. Now I am on a mission to guide and inspire people to live their best life. I want to make a difference by helping people overcome challenges. I want to empower people to unleash their full potential. My idea of success is not only about me now. My success is about helping others live a limitless life. There are many types of success. It can be related to education, love, career, money. Define yours.
If you don’t define success, you will never get it. Even worse, you might end up pursuing someone else’s version of success. Do you know how many students choose their major based on what’s popular or promising to pay off? That’s society defining success for them. That’s someone else’s idea of success. Do you really want to keep climbing the wrong ladder only to find out that you’ve reached the wrong heights? To define your success, ask yourself: What makes me happy? The path to success begins with what you love doing the most. It doesn’t have to be money-related. Ever wonder why millionaires and billionaires keep waking up at 5 am every day and head to work? It’s because they love what they do! So, what does success mean to YOU?
Why I am Not Successful?
Many factors can influence your success, but here are some of the common reasons why you are not successful yet:
1. You Don’t Have Goals
Success is about achieving goals. How can you possibly be successful if you don’t set clear goals? Goals help you to be more focussed on our destination amidst so many distractions in the world.
2. You Don’t Have A Plan
Knowing what you want is a big step forward. However, that won’t make you successful by itself. You have to have a plan of how to get there. It doesn’t need to be the ultimate plan, but you must start somewhere. People usually get scared when it comes to coming up with a plan, so they postpone it. No one is going to figure it out for you. The worst thing you can do is nothing. Get to work! Put together a plan. If plan A doesn’t work, you can always switch to plan B or C or D…
3. You Don’t Want to Work That Hard
If you know what you want and how to get it, what are you waiting for? Do you always have a bunch of excuses up your sleeve instead of getting things done? If your goals don’t make you jump out of bed, maybe you’ve set wrong goals. Identify your big WHY. Why do you want to achieve your goals? This question will reveal to you whether you are on the right path or need to take a different turn.
4. You Have Limiting Beliefs
Someone or something has convinced you that you can’t do or be something. These negative thoughts have turned into limiting beliefs over time. Now, these toxic beliefs are standing in the way of your success.
Identify each of those beliefs and replace them with positive thoughts.
5. You Don’t Value Your Time Properly
You work hard, but you don’t seem to move forward? Maybe it’s time to take that course that will help you get a more competitive role. Maybe you need some time to take care of yourself. Do you struggle to manage your time in the first place? What about getting up earlier? Or watching less TV? Success takes effort and time. However, it’s up to you to balance and make the most out of your time. There might be one or more reasons why you are not successful. Observe your situation from a third-person perspective. Ask yourself multiple questions until you get answers. Being aware of the problem is the first step towards finding an accurate solution.
How to Be Successful?
The first thing you need to do is define what does success mean to you. This will help you set goals and align your actions with the desired outcome. Be specific about your goals. “I want to be rich” is not a goal by itself. At least, it’s not an actionable goal. You have to figure out how much you want to make. Most importantly, you have to understand why you want to have that amount of money in your bank account. Ask yourself “WHY?” for everything you desire. What are you willing to sacrifice? How important is for you to achieve your goals? Trust me, motivation will follow when you are fully committed and know why you want to achieve your goals.
People often ask me how I am so successful despite my physical limitation. How can I be so positive? The answer is simple: I have found my purpose. I want to make a positive impact on the society by setting an example through my work driven by values and principles that I cherish. I don’t need anyone or anything to motivate me to get out of bed every morning. I don’t ever hit snooze. Every new day gets me excited! I know WHY I want to achieve my goals — that’s what keeps me going. When you have a purpose, there’s nothing that can stop you. Keep in mind that I am just human. I can fail like everyone else. Anyway, success is not about numbers. It’s not about how many times you’ve won or failed. Don’t just count, make it count! Have fun along the journey! What’s the point of being happy only when you reach a goal? That won’t last long, and soon you’ll find yourself chasing another goal. Happiness is not a destination — it’s a state of mind. Don’t wait until you are ready. Be a person of action. BE UNSTOPPABLE.
The only way to earn more money by providing people with services or products which are needed and useful. We exchange our time and our product or service for another person’s money. Therefore, the natural law is, our financial return is in direct proportion to our service. These are the words said by Earl Nightingale says in Strangest Secret audio.
If you want to earn more money the best way is to provide people with your service or product. If you are working in an organization, you can earn more money by providing more value through your service to the organization. It is very strange most of us think always to earn money, but we fail to realize to provide value which in turn leads to a better salary. If you are in business, you can earn more money by helping people creating your product.
Best examples: Amazon solved the problem of shopping from any corner of the world without stepping out of your home. Similarly, the “Uber” taxi service became so famous because we can travel to any place by getting the taxi service anytime at our fingers tips. These are some of the best examples of earning more money by providing solutions to others problems.
2. Create a Second Income:
One of the ways to earn more money is to create your second income while you are working to earn after office hours. There are so many ways such as coaching, training, counseling, blogging, affiliate products, etc. As you start earning this income, you should use it to invest in assets that give you passive income after deducting all expenses. This is the best way to accelerate your time to become financially free in a shorter time. The question you should ask to evaluate your financial freedom is, “Can I retire today if I want?”. You should have sufficient wealth to take care of the rest of your life. Let me not get into what are the places where you need to invest. Probably you can take the advice of a financial expert. Some of the instruments which I know are Real Estate, Stocks / Crypto and Gold / Silver, etc.
3.Save 10 % and Invest in instruments to get Passive Income
We need to learn to save at least 10% of your income after cutting down all our expenses. This is the secret practiced in ancient times by rich people in Babylonia as mentioned in the book “Richest Man in the Babylon”. This secret is so powerful, practiced and recommended even today by all self-made millionaires. This saved money should be invested to build assets that give passive income.
The common notion is, you will be called successful when you are earning more money. The vice versa is true, you can earn more money after you are successful. One man said, “Give me heat and then I will add the wood”. We have to got to put the fuel before we can expect heat, we have to provide service/ value first before we expect money. We should not be concerned ourselves with the money before providing service first.
5.The ability to sell the concept or product:
We have a lot of ideas every day and some good ones, but how can you convince people that will help you earn money? You must be able to explain the process that will transform your ideas into solving the problems of people. People buy your product or service only when they get the feeling their problems are addressed. Hence if you are in online business or offline business you need to create your product to address the problem of your target audience. More problems the product solves, you will get more money.
It is your right to be rich. Everyone is here to lead an abundant life, to be happy, joyful, and free of basic concerns in life. Today in this world everyone needs money to lead a decent life. Hence you have full right to have all the money you need to lead a full, happy prosperous life. Please don’t get confused leading prosperous life doesn’t mean you should be having lots of money.
1.Accept first earning more money is your Right
We are here to grow, expand, develop spiritually, mentally, and materially. We should learn to develop our thinking and express ourselves in these lines. We should surround ourselves with beauty, wonderfulness, and luxury. We need to start thinking we should no be satisfied with just enough to lead a constricted life when we can enjoy the riches of the infinite. There is lots of abundance in the Universe. Because of our attitude and thinking, we think money is scarce. Getaway all superstitious beliefs about money. Do not ever regard money as evil or filthy. If you do you are distancing yourself away from the money. We need to remember whatever we condemn we will loose.
2.Burning Desire to become Rich
In the book “ Think and Grow Rich”, author Napoleon Hill says, one of the attributes of rich people or self-made millionaires is having a “burning desire”. Hence, we need to develop a burning desire to have a fuller, happier, and more wonderful life. It is a cosmic urge. It is good. We need to begin to see money in its true significance as a symbol of exchange. Money only helps us to get freedom from our wants. Hence it is our right to earn more money and we should have always a burning desire to get more money.
3.Develop Prosperity Thinking
One of the reasons many people do not have more money is that they are silently or openly condemning it. They always believe that “love of money is the root of all evil”. Another reason they do not prosper is that they have a malicious feeling subconsciously “ there is worth in thinking about poverty”. These beliefs may be due to early childhood training, superstition or it could be based on the false interpretation of the scriptures. Have you observed your father or mother or grandfather saying “Money will not grow like trees” or “ You have to sweat every day to earn money”. We are living in this kind of scarcity mindset. It is time that we should change our scarcity mindset to a prosperity mindset.
Money is only a symbol. It has taken many forms as a medium of exchange down through centuries. In olden times money was in the form of salt, beads, or the number of sheep or oxen one had. Today we are writing cheques than carrying some sheep with us to pay our bills. God doesn’t want us to live in a hut or to go hungry. God wants everyone to be happy, prosperous and successful. It is due to our past beliefs that some people are remaining poor. They think that they cannot change their poverty.
Only one care you need to take care of is not becoming fanatical about earning money by distancing from your friends, loved ones, and social activities. Then you will become unbalanced and frustrated as well at times. Nature expects you to have balance. My suggestion to you is to repeat this phrase every day at least three to four times” Money is freely circulating in my life and is at divine surplus”. You don’t need too much money, but you need money for all your activities, and it should be flowing freely in your life.
Autosuggestion is an agent of communication between the conscious mind and subconscious mind. As we have inherited negative beliefs about money from our parents, ancestors, or the surrounding environment in childhood we have developed negative thoughts in our subconscious mind about money. We have been made to think money is not easy to earn or do not grow in trees, it is very hard to get rich. These negative thoughts or beliefs are deeply seated in our subconscious mind about the money. It is like an old operating system if you want to talk in the language of the computer. Unless we replace this old operating system with a new operating system we can’t change our thinking about money. By repeating some words or sentences daily we can erase our old operating system(scarcity mindset) and replace it with a new operating system(prosperity mindset).
Some examples of positive affirmations to develop prosperity thinking is
· I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul!
· I have a millionaire mind!
· I commit to being rich
· I earn money by providing better service to people’s problems.
· My financial return is in direct proportion to my service to the problems of the people.
· My Inner World creates my Outer World
· I observe my thoughts and entertain only those that empower me.
· I release my non-supportive money experiences from the past and create a new and rich future.
· I create the exact level of my financial success
· I think “big”. I choose to help thousands and thousands of people.
Have you ever heard the story of Napoleon Hill’s deaf son?
Napoleon Hill, the author of the famed self-help book “Think and Grow Rich,” had a son who was born without ears. Believe it or not, he managed to teach his son to hear and speak like a normal person despite his disability.
Napoleon Hill has never allowed Blair Hill to have limiting beliefs about his condition.
Blair was discovered to lack “any physical sign of ears,” and the doctor said that the child “might be deaf, and mute for life.”
However, Napoleon Hill refused to raise his son differently than kids who were able to hear and speak. He didn’t even allow him to learn sign language. Instead, he sent him to public school with the intention to associate with “normal children” and live a “normal life.” Napoleon even convinced Blair that because of his special circumstances, his schoolmates, teachers, and all whom he met will display “special attention” and “extraordinary kindness” toward him. His father convinced Blair to see his disability as an advantage.
While growing up, Blair somehow managed to hear his father’s wise words, his teachers’ lessons, and music. However, the big moment happened a bit later in his life. In his last year of college, Blair tested an Acousticon hearing aid which was specifically designed for him by Dictograph Products Company. He had tried hearing aids before, but none of them worked. However, this one did – Blair was able to improve his hearing to 100%!
Do you think earless Blair would have been able to speak and hear like any other person if he was raised with limiting beliefs?
I don’t think so. I can really relate to Blair Hill’s story because I am differently abled myself. I had a completely normal life until I fell from a great height. The tragic accident left me paralyzed below the waist. Despite my disability, just like Blair Hill, I live a completely normal life.
In fact, I am living my best life. Wondering how?
I don’t have limiting beliefs. Despite my physical limitation, I am limitless.
What Are Limiting Beliefs?
Limiting beliefs are those that hold us back in some way. You know that little voice that tells you that you can’t do/be/have something? Next time you hear it, ring the alarm!
Limiting beliefs are something that we believe it’s true about us, others or the world. These beliefs may hold you back from accepting great opportunities. Sadly enough, these beliefs can make you blind for the chances along your path or make you refuse gifts offered to you. Lastly, limiting beliefs might make you focus only on the negative circumstances.
Most of the time you are not even aware of your limiting beliefs. However, the ugly truth is that these deeply set beliefs strongly influence your life.
It’s not money, parents, jealous coworkers that’s holding you back… It’s all you and that little negative voice in your head.
It’s your limiting beliefs that don’t let you be the greatest version of yourself.
We hold some of these beliefs ever since childhood days. Interestingly enough, even parents are the ones who plant limiting beliefs in their children’s heads. Limiting beliefs can also come from the environment, society, friends, everything around you. They are buried deep down in our consciousness. It’s time to take them out of your head.
Here are some common examples:
I’m not beautiful/smart/funny.
Money is hard to make.
Only the lucky people succeed.
This job is more of a guy thing (or a girl thing).
All men/women are unfaithful.
Do you believe in some of these?
Limitations vs Limiting Beliefs
While limiting beliefs are only in your mind, limitations might actually exist in your life. Take a look at this example to understand the difference:
Limitation: You don’t have enough resources to go to college.
Limiting Belief: You think you are not capable of graduating from college.
Often times limitations lead to developing limiting beliefs. Believe it or not, limiting beliefs are way more dangerous for your success than actual limitations.
When one has a will, he/she can overcome any limitation. In contrary, when one has limiting beliefs, he/she might not even dare to try. As I said in my example, if someone thinks that is not capable of graduating from college, no money would help. However, if one thinks that is capable of getting a degree, he/she could seek opportunities to make this possible despite the lack of money.
In my case, my limitation is the inability to walk. Despite my disability, I live a limitless life. The biggest disability, after all, is having limiting beliefs.
We all face limitations somewhere along the road. However, arguing about your limitations won’t help you succeed. If you want to do something, don’t discuss why you can’t do it. What’s the use? Instead, seek ways to make it happen. Figure out HOW.
Don’t discuss limitations – think of possibilities
How to Overcome Limiting Beliefs?
The first step to overcoming your limiting beliefs is to recognize them. These beliefs may date back to your childhood days, so it’s not that easy to discover them in the first place. Luckily, there are a few clues that can help become aware of your limiting beliefs.
Are you negative?
Do you often complain and blame?
Are you anxious/depressed or have other emotional issues?
How do you talk to yourself? To other people? About the world?
Answer these and ask yourself similar questions. I want you to really pay attention to the tone of your speech. Are you struggling in any specific area of your life? That’s probably where your limiting beliefs are. Start asking yourself more questions, dig deeper and get to the roots of those limiting beliefs. Being aware of your limiting beliefs is a huge step forward! Go through each of your limiting beliefs and ask yourself why you have it. You’ll be surprised how many of your limiting beliefs are someone else’s thoughts that you adopted.
A belief is nothing but a thought you’ve been thinking for too long. You can change your beliefs by changing your thoughts. You have control over what you think.
It’s important to replace your limiting beliefs once you discover them. For example, you can choose a positive affirmation for every limiting belief that you have.
Another way to release your limiting beliefs is to immediately replace the negative thoughts with positive ones. To be more specific, when something negative comes to your mind, imagine what can go right, what you CAN DO. Imagine your desired outcome. Why allow negativity to dominate your mind? Reach for that good feeling with creative visualization. Your mind will reprogram with consistent repetition of this mental exercise. Positive thoughts will start to beat your limiting beliefs!
Live A Limitless Life
Limitations can’t stop you from living a limitless life. Your mind can.
I urge you to acknowledge those limiting beliefs you hold and then beat them down! Despite my physical limitation, I live a limitless life.
It’s your turn now.
Your limiting beliefs are keeping you small. Dream BIG. THINK BIGGER. Erase your limits.