The Power of Saying “NO”

When I started working in a corporate MNC after 2 years of stay in the hospital after my accident in 1994, I was saying yes to many things in the job. May be some of the reasons would be “ I wanted to please people”, “ Hesitant to say no to boss” etc.

The day I started say  “No” to certain things, I was able to focus better and become more productive. This even helped me to get promotion very fast and contribute more to my work.

Sometimes my physical limitation limits me doing many things. What I have learnt in my life is, one can be still be effective in the life and become unstoppable if one knows where to focus one’s time daily in the life.

I have to spend my time carefully and focus on right things everyday so that I earn my living , focussing on my life coaching work which helps me to get income to take care of me and my adopted son’s needs.

At the same time it brings great amount of fulfilment that I am also making difference in others lives helping them to become unstoppable , despite me being in the wheel chair since 26 years.

Recently one of my client was sharing same issue with me in his job. He mentioned he has to do many things in the job and left with no time at the end of the day. I suggested him to cultivate the habit of saying “NO” to some of unwanted things.

This is going to cost you lot if you continue to do Yes for everything.

This is how majority of people live their lives. It is applicable  not only in the job, it may be in their business or self- employment or personal life etc

Some reasons why people say “ Yes”

  1. They want to please people.
  2. They want to please their boss
  3. They want to please their customers.
  4. They want to please their friends.
  5. Spending time endlessly with friends and relatives on casual talk on things don’t matter
  6. Spending time on Social Media and TV

When  you learn to say ” NO’ to things that don’t matter to you and your life, you will be able to focus on your productive work and cut down all un necessary things.

Keep doing this for next 21 days, you will understand the power of “NO”

Learn to say “NO”.

Watch my  video “ What you think you Become”

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Believe Life is worth Living

It was around Eleven noon, one day in April, 2003. My caregiver, Lakshmamma had just begun her job in my house. She comes from a rural background.

She doesn’t have any education either formal or non-formal.

On this day, I was reading the newspaper in my living room and she was cooking rice in the kitchen.

She had to switch on the gas stove but she didn’t know how to use the gas lighter to light the stove.

It was a very funny incident. What happened that day I can never forget.

I feel like laughing loudly even now whenever this incident comes to mind. I had taught her to use the lighter and demonstrated how to light the gas stove.

Despite pressing the gas lighter many times she could not light the gas stove.

Meanwhile as she had switched on the gas stove, some gas was leaking from the burner head.

As a result when she finally lit the gas stove, there was a sound when the flame caught on the gas stove.

She ran out of the kitchen and came running towards me like a kid screaming for help.

I couldn’t control my laughter when I found out why she was running.

This was one of the most hilarious moments, which I experienced during her initial days when she came to take care of me and my adopted son.

  I would like to say more about the qualities, nature and personality of this amazing woman. 

 She has not been educated and never went to school but she is very smart.

She took care of me and my son like her own family after my wife got separated from us to have a different life. She has been with us since 17 Years.

Her sincerity and honesty is unquestionable.

  Another incident, which I think is worth mentioning is this. Once, I had had gone along with my sister’s family to visit a temple on a sightseeing trip near Shimoga(In my state). There were several steps leading up to the temple.

 We realised it was going to be an uphill task for me to climb in my wheelchair as there were too many steps to climb to go to the entrance  of the temple.

  I was still sitting inside the car, my brother came to me and said, “It is not possible for you to climb up to the temple. It would be better for you to sit here comfortably.”

Then he said, ”We will go and visit the temple. You take rest here.”

Hearing my brother, my caregiver, Lakshmamma reacted angrily.

She said to my brother, ”Sir, I don’t agree! How can we leave him here in the car while we go and visit the temple?”

 Then she said, ”Do not worry, Sir! I am here to help. Somehow we will ensure that he makes it up to the temple. I am here to push the wheelchair and help him to climb steps.”

 My brother could not say anything as he was astonished to hear this. Thanks to her determination and help, I was able to climb the steps. The temple had almost twenty steps in one stretch. Such was her love and loyalty to her master.

 Such people are rare today in this materialistic world, which is filled with more of evil than good. 

Whoever had come so far as caregivers to take care of me always had some sort of hidden agenda and were not genuine.

Whereas this great woman, wanted only to serve me and my son. It’s very rare to get such people who have a serving mindset  only.

Another remarkable quality of this lady is that she helps me in the bathroom to reach my back and legs while sitting on the wheelchair.

Actually this is life. We have to live with happiness despite odds and hardships. One has to adapt one’s life as per the life situation.

We cant keep about the past. We cannot keep complaining and keep saying, ‘This is not there.’ and ‘That is not there.’ If we have to create a better future we should look ahead and recreate life.


There will be some difficulties and there will be happiness sometimes. We should always be aware that life is a roller-coaster ride. But keep taking action to raise the quality of our life is important.

More and more you start worrying, life will appear to be even more difficult.

You can make your life Unstoppable come what may.

Adaptability is the key and it is my mantra. It just requires our willingness to take life’s challenges head on.

We need to learn how to swim in the ocean of difficulties and in any situations of life.

In my words ‘adaptability is the key’ which is my mantra face life in spite of mulitiplae challenges and difficulties.

Accept Yourself

One day King came to his garden and saw withering and dying trees, bushes, and flowers.

An oak said it dies because it can’t be as high as a pine.

A pine tree was falling because it could not give grapes like a grapevine.

Meanwhile, the grapevine was dying because it couldn’t blossom like a rose.

But soon the King found a single plant, pleasing heart, bloomy and fresh.

The king asked:

-All the trees and flowers here are withering, and you are flourishing, why?

– I think it comes naturally. You have planted me because it was Your wish and Your choice. If you would like to grow oak, grapes, or rose, you would plant them. And I cannot be anything else than what I am. So I try to develop my best qualities.

Look at yourself. You can be only yourself. 

It is impossible for you to become someone else. 

You can enjoy life and blossom or you can wither if you do not accept yourself.

I too had similar thoughts when I was admitted to the hospital after meeting an ill-fated injury in 1994, which left me paralyzed from the waist below.

I was told my wheelchair is my new companion for the rest of my life.

Similarly, you too might be undergoing some adverse situation or some difficulties that make you feel very difficult to feel ” What is the way out”

Why did I land up in the problem?

Why are all the problems happening to me only?

When you don’t accept yourself you become more sensitive to rejection.

 when you don’t accept yourself you lose faith every time you trip over any old weakness.

 when you don’t accept yourself you waste time looking for love to make you complete.

 when you don’t accept yourself you are living in the past.

 acceptance is not a hopeless position it is the only position from which you can grow.

 if you accept yourself you can accept your life,  your life situation, and the world

𝗗𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗮 𝗩𝗶𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗺 𝗼𝗿 𝗮 𝗩𝗶𝗰𝘁𝗼𝗿? 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝗰𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗶𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀.

A friend had presented me a book when I was admitted in the hospital, written by one of the greatest scientists and thinkers of our times, Stephen Hawking. The book was titled “A Brief History of Time.”

Something that Stephen Hawking said, inspired me a lot. “However difficult life may seem there is always something you can do and succeed at.”

One thing I have learnt in my life, “Iꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ sᴜᴄᴄᴇssꜰᴜʟ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴄʜᴀʟʟᴇɴɢᴇ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀs, ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴄʜᴀʟʟᴇɴɢᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀsᴇʟꜰ. Tʜᴇɴ, ʟᴇᴀʀɴ ᴛᴏ ɢᴏ ʙᴇʏᴏɴᴅ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇsᴇ ᴄʜᴀʟʟᴇɴɢᴇs ᴛʀᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴀs sᴇʟꜰ ɪᴍᴘᴏsᴇᴅ ʟɪᴍɪᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴs ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴀ ʙɪɢ ꜰᴜss ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇᴍ.”

Traits of the Victim

Blaming Others
Blaming job
Blaming boss
Blaming organisation
Blaming your work
Blaming society
Blaming country
Blaming Family
Blaming parents
Blaming current life

Victim blames all except himself/herself.

Victim focuses on obstacles but victor focusses on opportunity

Victim sees problems everywhere ,victor try to make best of the situation

Victim focusses on risks in life victor focusses on life as an exciting adventure.

I am not talking positive thinking here, but this is how the perspective of victims how they see the world

Victim is always fearful and keep thinking what could go wrong always, where as victor takes responsibility for his/her life

Victor has trust , self confidence in his/her abilities and Victim depends on luck

Victim always blames for ill luck, victor believes in luck favours one who takes action but not depend on it

Victim is not committed to change the life, victor is unstoppable will not give up come what may

More details are in my chapter 3 of my Book “𝗜 𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗼 b𝗲 𝗨𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗽𝗽𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲”
𝙉𝙤𝙬 𝙞𝙩 𝙞𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙙𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙫𝙞𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙢 𝙤𝙧 𝙫𝙞𝙘𝙩𝙤𝙧 𝙞𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙡𝙞𝙛e